Everything Flows Onward

finding my dharma. living my dharma.

Immersion and Transformation #1 May 31, 2009

This weekend Gabriel Azoulay blessed our studio with his teachings. I have been journaling pretty extensively throughout, and there is still one session left this afternoon. Instead of trying to recap in one long post, I am going to post over the coming days the journals that I have written. Since they are written they are not always complete thoughts or ideas. Sometimes I am just writing down a question and do not answer it because it will require more investigation, more thought, more transformation before it is clear to me. But I want to share this experience with you all, especially for those who do not know much about the broader yogic experience. I hope that this will open your eyes to an aspect of Yoga, as it is not merely a physical practice but a true path of transformation. Namaste’.

May 29

Tonight was Power Vinyasa with Gabriel. Earlier I received Thai Massage from him. Through converstaion and subsequent physical practice, I now have much to consider. I feel called to review the authenticity of my practice, and not just the asana (posture). What continues to bring me to my mat? What do I give from my mat? What am I giving in other areas? Am I living my truth?

And having seen just this alone, the importance of travel has come up. The feeling in my heart is one of someone experiencing foreign travel for the first time. I am tasting something foreign and magical and it must continue. Simply by knowing it exists, I feel obligated to experience it.

As much as I love Evansville, and can see myself here for a long time, it occurs to me that I may outgrow it in a sense. Or that we will after a time not be giving and receiving energy from one another in the same way we do now.

I don’t know. For now I can settle for shorter trips. But I know, at least, that I must be a sponge and expand my practice so I may share it with those who want to partake. This evolution is what keeps my practice strong.

Tomorrow: May 30th, thoughts settle after day one and more transformation occurs.


The Jazzhands Experience May 29, 2009

Filed under: friends,fun,growing up,laughter,life,staying young,Uncategorized — Jenny @ 10:34 am

the work never ends May 26, 2009

Filed under: adventure,fear,future,happiness — Jenny @ 11:57 am

The past couple of mornings I have taken to going for hour long walks. My intention was to get a little more physical activity in, but I have ended up finding it quite meditative. I’ll admit, this is, in part, due to the fact that I keep forgetting to charge my iPod and so I have nothing to do on my walk but listen to the sounds around me… and think. It has turned out to be very good for me. To be able to remove myself from all other distractions and think logically about various situations.

My thoughts today were inspired by a conversation I had yesterday with Elizabeth. We talked a lot about the power of intention, about the way thoughts can change the course of our lives, and most notably, a little bit about trusting and having faith in our gut feelings.

Pardon my ambiguity here, but it’s my preference today to remain non-specific. I shared with her a few things that I had recently felt tuned into and some new certainties that I had in my life, things that I now absolutely believe will be a part of my future. I mentioned that now I feel a little more secure, or in other words, that I can sit back some and have the faith that there are things in store for me of which I wasn’t always certain before. And all of this is true, from the bottom of my heart, all the way to my core, from the depths of my soul, I am know that I will be taken care of, that the universe has it in my plans, that it’s just a matter of time. Yet still, I remain very impatient, a little impractical and all of these leads to a sense of frustration and insecurity.

I find it amusing that I have worked so hard to right my mind, to correct my misgivings and give up preconceived notions in so many aspects of my life in such a way that it has truly become second nature and I don’t remember what it was like to live how I had before. Except for certain areas. There are every day things that I feel so in sync with. I am able to go with the flow in ways I have never been able to before. But then there are the things that I don’t consider daily, that, to be honest, I have gone to lengths to make less a part of my life for various reasons (those being the usual suspects: fear, feeling a lack of control, etc). And when these particulars become dominant aspects of my life, I so easily fall back into old patterns of leaving the present moment and inventing storylines and expectations of the future, of setting myself up to be disappointed or feel rejected.

Naturally, it all reminds me of yoga. In yoga practice, there is always somewhere new to go. There is never an end to a pose, we can always find something new, something that changes. There is always work to do. And so it goes for life. No matter how much we think we’ve got it down, there is always somewhere new to go, something that changes, some work to do. There is never an end. And this is by no means a complaint. I say all this and I marvel at the wonder of yoga and of life. We can never be bored in this way and there is thusly always opportunity to explore and grow. So I am at a point in my practice (of life, that is) where I have somewhere new to explore, some more work to do. This is another place where I must remember to stay in the present moment, live not in the future, find the joy in the adventure and excitement of newness the way I have been able to in many other aspects of my life.

As I walked this morning, I had a chat with the universe. I was pretty open and honest. I acknowledged first that I have faith in the plans the universe has in store, but then I admitted that I was pretty damn frustrated. It actually felt really good to acknowledge the truth about how I felt without judging myself for feeling that way. It was a relief to say, “Listen, I know you’re looking out for me in the end, but I am frustrated.” So I threw some more thoughts out there and I even (of course) asked for a little bit of help, a teeny tiny sign that would help me relax. I promised to stay open to the signs, should they come. I promised I’d try to stay as present as possible to notice they were there.

I mean, the truth is, the signs are always there. The truth is always present, but sometimes we just aren’t paying attention. Sometimes the universe opens the window just a crack but we’re so busy and preoccupied with thoughts of the future and of what we can’t control, that we don’t even feel the breeze and take the step to open the window wider and embrace it fully. So we continue to complain that it’s stuffy and hot and uncomfortable.

A few minutes later, I’d completed my loop and was headed back towards my house. I walked under some trees, the wind blew and droplets of rain started falling to the ground. For a moment, I was totally present again and freaking out. I was a half an hour away from my house and it was going to start raining. But as soon as I walked away from under the trees, I realized it had just been the wind shaking water loose and I would arrive home without being drenched. I don’t know if this sign was meant to be a general statement or geared to this particular situation but what I took from it was this: it’s not so desperate a situation after all. Or, rather, you only think it’s raining. You’ll be fine.

So I’m going to take that for what it’s worth. I’m going to rest in my faith, rest with my gut feeling. I will do my best to stay present, enjoy every moment, keep my eyes and ears out for the signs, for the Truth.

I’m going apply my yoga philosophy yet again:  let go and let life.


Happy Birthday Daddy! May 22, 2009

Filed under: family,Uncategorized — Jenny @ 10:03 am
Tags: ,

This. Is. Ridiculous.

And I’d only do it for my Daddy on his birthday. 🙂


check me out, vloggin’. May 21, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jenny @ 4:08 pm
Tags: , ,

Just thought I’d try something new out… let me know what you think. This is just the first one but I’d like to get to the point of being a little more creative now and again and making vlogging something I do on the regular.

Unless you hate it. Ugh.






In Loving Memory May 8, 2009

Filed under: death,family,life — Jenny @ 1:02 pm

True to our form, doing what we do best, Erin and I got tattoos last night in memory of our cousin, Johnny. It seemed like a very fitting way for both of us to commemorate his life. We each got a violet flower, his birth flower, on our foot.

Johnny was laid to rest yesterday, May 7th, 2009. The service was beautiful and it is a blessing to have been here with my family.

Thank you to everyone who has carried us in his or her thoughts. Your love can be felt from miles away.

Johnny was our Peter Pan when we played together as children, and now, as an adult, Peter Pan he shall remain: forever young and gone back to Neverland. The rest of us will play the part of Wendy. We’ll continue to grow older every passing day, and wait for spring cleaning, when Peter will come back to take us with him.

Rest in peace, John Losse, Jr.


SEVA Challenge 2009 May 5, 2009

Filed under: seva challenge 2009 mission statement — Jenny @ 8:05 pm

So, things are really up and running for our involvement in the SEVA 2009 Challenge.

In case you are not aware of what it is or what I have to do with it, allow us to explain:


The SEVA Challenge 2009 is in collaboration with Off the Mat into the World organization (www.offthematintotheworld.org ) where yogis around the United States and Canada join hands to raise money for national and international causes.

This year, I have pledged to raise $20,000 by November 15, 2009 for three organizations. Once my goal is reached, I will be traveling to Uganda in February 2010. Through the transformative practice of daily yoga, extensive hands-on experience and leadership training, we will create a powerful container in which to learn, discover and become effective agents for change.

A Vancouver based organization dedicated to helping children, women, and communities in Uganda find peace and health. OTM will support these efforts:
• Build an eco-friendly birthing center in remote Uganda
• Offer services to 50 HIV positive women
• Support a mid-wife training program, allowing them to earn an income, and supports women giving birth

Building Tomorrow is an international organization out of Indianapolis, Indiana. This year, OTM will support Building Tomorrow’s efforts:
• Building a primary school
• Housing for seven teachers and their families
• Develop a farm on the school’s property

Seane Corn, along with Ashley Judd and Josh Lucas, is an ambassador for Youth Aids. OTM will be working with this organization to support:
• Education and prevention initiative to stopping the spread of HIV/AIDS
• Life-saving programs in over 60 countries

In addition, 20% of proceeds will stay in the United States and Canada to support youth at-risk programs. OTM is committed to continuing our work to support cultures and communities where basic human needs are at risk and to offering our hearts, hands and resources in joyful and practical service.

The Facts:
-41% of children in Africa have no access to education.
-Every morning 41 million children in sub-Africa wake up with no school to attend.
-Over 1 million children in Uganda, between the ages of 6-12 are not in school.
-Only 57% of children in Uganda will complete primary school.
-The war in Northern Uganda has been called the most neglected humanitarian emergency in the world.
-15 million children around the world have been orphaned by AIDS losing one or both parents by this disease
-In a country where sanitation and medical facilities are lacking, high cesarean section rates, and other interventions lead to infection and death.
-Without continued access to education and supplies, these practices put the birthing mother and her child at risk causing thousands to die each year.

Between now and November 15, people with the same vision and I have organized several events for this cause:
• Yoga-thons
• Cut-a-thons
• Art Auctions (one online and one live, local event)
• Letter writing campaigns
• Traveling yoga donation classes

I am asking you to support my effort in any way possible. If you feel inclined to offer a monetary donation, please do so the following ways below. Your tax deductible donation will go to support these worthwhile causes. If you would like to donate an item for our art auction, or volunteer for one of our other efforts, please contact me at staceyshanks@insightbb.com or (812) 455-6740.

Your donation will be part of a legacy of hope for Uganda and an agent for social change. Please consider my plea for help by supporting this cause and my goal now. I am happy to answer any questions you may have about these organizations or my efforts. Together we CAN make a difference!

Love & blessings for a better tomorrow,

Stacey Shanks
Lynn Falcony
Jenny Naes

Another tid bit of information that may be of interest to you is the monetary goal of our efforts. Stacey has taken the SEVA pledge, which means that in order to be able to travel to Uganda and physically take part in the efforts of the above mentioned organizations, she must raise $20,000 by November 15th. Stacey’s entire heart and soul is being poured into her efforts. I have seen firsthand how much this means to her to have the opportunity to take part. She is so moved by the cause and was absolutely called by the universe to take action.

So, how can you donate? There is a button at the top left of this blog which you can click and be directed to the donation site. From there, please select Stacey Shanks as the recipient of your donation. Another option available to you is to send checks to Off the Mat, Into the World P.O. Box 748, Venice, CA 90294 (payable to The Engage Network with Stacey Shanks in the memo on the check).

How can you get involved or stay updated on information? We invite you all to join our Ning network: www.sevachallenge.ning.com. This is the site that Stacey, Lynn and I have set up for our organizing efforts. Here you can sign in, find friends, join groups and forum discussions, keep updated on our progress and our events. There is so much exciting stuff going on here. I hope you all will join us and consider giving what you can. Your help means the world to us all.