I wish I could blog something these days.
I want to express myself. I want to be inspired to write something. I’m not so busy I don’t have time to blog. I’m blocked. I can feel something inside of me that wants to come out, but it hasn’t made itself clear to me.
This scenario is playing out in other aspects of my life. I’ve been partaking in some energy work recently, to unblock channels in my body, especially in my hips and lower abdomen, where I tend to hold my tension. And don’t we all know about hips right? Since my last session with my energy worker, I have been pretty emotional, to either end of the spectrum and back. Crying in the middle of yoga class, or needlessly outraged because I’ve been minorly inconvenienced. My patience has absolutely gone out the window. And Universe, please forgive me for these days I’ve spent backtracking through my work on compassion. Honestly, I feel a bit like I need an exorcism. This energy is waking up inside me and I’m adjusting to it slowly. I see this opportunity as one to discover new things about myself, my body, and as an opportunity to cleanse and find genuine purity in my life.
Part of me is frightened of what I’m going to meet the more I focus on it. Things I thought I’d laid to rest? Things I hoped to never come up against again? Things that may completely blindside me?
So it’s safe to say there’s some fear, or maybe apprehension is a better word for it. But here’s what I know: tonight, I was engaged in a rather dull, yet somewhat cathartic activity at work. Despite it being a task I considered pretty mind numbing, I found myself intensely present in despite of that. Of course, it’s only in these moments of Quiet, wherever we happen to find them, that we are able to Hear. And that’s when I heard. I am on the brink of something here. Something major. There is a transformation going on in and around me. I don’t know what it consists of and I don’t know where it’s leading me. But what I heard was that it is big and it is good. Far outweighing my apprehensions is this overwhelming sense of peace, sense of calm. That wonderful feeling of knowing I’ll be taken care of by the Universe. It’s what I can only describe as true Faith.
What I’m conscious of is that the road may be rocky, but I’m headed in the right direction. I was never one to take the easy path, anyway.
So just in case you wonder where I’ve gone, I’m on a journey at present, and I’ll be sending postcards along the way…