Everything Flows Onward

finding my dharma. living my dharma.

jenny googles January 15, 2009

Filed under: fun — Jenny @ 10:52 pm

Q: Type in “[your name] needs” in the Google search.
A: “jenny needs to find herself a baller.” (amen, brother.) “jenny needs to respect her elders.” (i actually fancy myself quite respectful.)

Q: Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search.
A: “jenny looks like some random slore porn star.” “jenny looks like a beach bunny.” “jenny looks like she’s gonna stab you with a fondue stick.” (suffice it to say, “jenny looks like” is not my favorite category.)

Q: Type in “[your name] says” in Google search.
A: “jenny says turn off the radio/ jenny says turn off the light/ jenny says turn off the video/ you beat yourself up to bring yourself down” (apparently there’s a song by a band called cowboy mouth called “jenny says.”)

Q: Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search.
A: “jenny wants to announce pregnancy on her block?’ (…ummmmmmm)

Q:Type in “[your name] does” in Google search.
A: “jenny does not have the classic epicanthal folds that down’s babies have.” (phew!)

Q: Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search.
A: “jenny hates cheaterzzzzz” (almost as much as she hates pluralizing with Zs.) “jenny hates ronnie.” (not fair, i don’t even KNOW ronnie.)

Q: Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search.
A: “jenny asks tom, as a stranger, to pose nude for her art project.” (oh, my.) “jenny asks if ‘jesus will take care of rosie.'”

Q: Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search.
A: “jenny likes to rape cats.” (literally, this is the first one to come up. and it’s blaspheme!!!) “jenny likes to punch people.” (literally, the second one to come up.) “jenny likes flowers.” (and the only true one of the bunch.)

Q: Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search.
A: “jenny eats some chinese food.” “jenny eats people.” “jenny eats anthony’s face.” (this survey is not doing good things for me.”

Q: Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search.
A: “jenny wears a schoolgirl outfit.” (i had to, once, when i worked at the fox and hound.)

Q: Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search.
A: “jenny was arrested for killing her sister, speeding, drinking while driving, possession of drug paraphernalia” (sweet. mother. of. jesus.)

Q: Type in “[your name] loves” in Google Search.
A. “jenny loves yoga” (ha! that really came up!) “jenny loves the fair trade role.” (also true!) “jenny loves jazz.” (heck yeah! this one redeemed all the others questions’ answers.)


One Response to “jenny googles”

  1. holly Says:

    i need you to know – and so might cass if she reads this – that cass and i have seen cowboy mouth in concert. that is all.

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