Everything Flows Onward

finding my dharma. living my dharma.

i take a hint October 18, 2008

Filed under: adventure,being present,life,mindfulness,spontaneity — Jenny @ 3:21 am

“Be prepared for a few scheduling hiccups, today. Suddenly, an unforeseen event could limit your free time and make you feel a little bit like you’re under the gun. But have no fear! This rapid change of pace will not send you down a stressful path. Instead, it will be invigorating and bring out your competitive, aggressive nature. This will be a fun day, full of twists and turns that keep you on the edge of your seat — and ready for the next curveball to come your way!”

At 7 am, I was at work, reading my horoscope on MSNBC, thinking “Yipes… I don’t know how I feel about this one…”

At 1:30 pm I was thrilled to only have an hour left of work and looking forward to errands, the weekend and lots of yoga classes.

At 5:35 pm, I was standing at the corner of Barker and Mt. Vernon, looking sadly at the front bumper and headlights of my car lying in the middle of the street, cleanly detached from the body of my car. Another hour or so and I was watching my precious darling car being towed away. Fast forward another half hour and I’d gotten a ride home and was making reservations to pick up a rental car in the morning.

It wasn’t until after dinner that I remembered my horoscope this morning. And then I reflected on how I’d been feeling quite scattered and distracted all afternoon. My brain was moving a million miles an hour and literally seconds before my accident tonight I explicitly recall saying to myself that I needed to get out of my head and focus on life as it was happening in front of me. I remember thinking these words exactly, “You just aren’t paying attention to the world outside of you tonight.” That was an understatement.

Then it occurred to me… in my last blog I was talking about how happiness is always there for us to touch 24/7, if we’re just mindful and aware we’ll see it. I think tonight was a gentle (?) suggestion from the Universe to broaden that idea. Not just happiness, but life itself. Thinking back on the day… I almost feel like I should’ve seen this coming. Starting with my horoscope, which I generally just read for fun and don’t actually use as a guide. And then there was my own advice to myself to focus on what was happening in front of me and to stop living in the world going on in my head. I was very in tune with how distracted I was this afternoon. In fact, I was so in tune with my distraction that it was distracting… Clearly…

It was like the Universe was saying, “Yes, Jenny. Happiness is there to be touched 24/7, but that’s only because Reality is there to be touched 24/7. Truth is there 24/7. Just listen to me and you’ll be able to be there for all of it. Happiness, chance, even disappointment.” I had forgotten that in order to recognize you are at the mountain’s peak, you must also recognize that there is a valley far below. They are both there and they can not be without the existence of the other. And there was the Universe, all day long trying to tell me what I needed: to be aware, to be mindful of it. But I simply wasn’t listening for that.

This has been a very interesting lesson I’ve learned tonight. I’m also proud of my reaction to it all. I’ve surprised myself by being so calm about everything. To speak truthfully, I think this is almost a good thing that has happened. Sometimes I recognize the extent to which I cling to a routine and I have been known to get very agitated when my routine is interupted. Yes, I realize this changes the plans I had for the weekend a bit. Yeah, it sucks I missed yoga tonight and I’ll miss it in the morning. But I can accomplish nothing if I focus strictly on how I wanted things to go and how they didn’t go accordingly.

Life happens and all that there is to control is how you react to it. You have plans and sometimes the plans have to change. You make the best out of what you’re given.

And you learn to listen. To all of it.

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