Everything Flows Onward

finding my dharma. living my dharma.

A Sometimes Moment February 24, 2008

Filed under: adventure,life — Jenny @ 11:28 pm

Sometimes I just have one of those days where I am very impressed by life for something seemingly very trivial. Sometimes on those days I can pinpoint the triviality. Today was one of those days.

Today I realized how much I love to travel. As a matter of fact, I much prefer it to arriving.*

*I have totally stolen that quote from someone somewhere, but I don’t recall where I got it from and unfortunately then, can’t give credit where credit is due. Whoops.

 

all work and no play February 22, 2008

Filed under: growing up,life,play,staying young — Jenny @ 12:39 pm

Okay, you caught me. I’ve been seriously slacking. And by slacking I mean, I’ve been slacking when it comes to doing the things I normally do when I’m being a slacker.

It’s Friday, which means if I’m gonna blog today then I gotta do it now. Fridays begin the second part of my work week, when I do my time at The Fox. And THAT means that once I leave the apartment at about 7:30 this morning, I won’t be home again until tomorrow.

Here’s the way I’ve been thinking about it: CMC satisfies the part of me that thrives off of routine. The Fox feeds the bit that needs things to change and be exciting. The Fox is also my weekly dose of a social life. During the week I’m asleep by 10. When all your friends work at or operate on a bar schedule, that makes getting together kind of difficult. When I’m at The Fox, I finally get to see everyone again and be the Jenny I’m used to being, as opposed to the new Jenny, who’s more of an adult. (No negative connotations there, by the way. That’s the interesting thing about it all: both Jenny’s feel right to me.)

I just suddenly wondered how long it will be before this schedule burns me out. I recognize that the Fox is only a “social life” because I’m still actually working, as opposed to a social life. (Notice the difference between quotations and none…)

One day I’m gonna need a real night off, a cold beer and a DD.

 

if it can go wrong… February 13, 2008

Filed under: independence,laughter,life — Jenny @ 12:53 am

I want to tell you all a story. A story about my morning.

Disclaimer: I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to…

My alarm goes off at 6 a.m. and I’m ready to go. I’m tired, but I’m ready for the day. I’m well aware that we’ve got some bad weather this morning so I’m prepared to leave the apartment an hour before I need to work in order to defrost and de-ice. By 7:00 I’m out the door and ready to tackle the 1/2 inch thick layer of ice coating my car. I turn the ol’ girl on to get her warmed up, I set my purse down and my breakfast is waiting for me in the passenger seat. There’s a piping hot cup of coffee to warm my insides sitting in the cup holder. I get out of the car, shut the door slightly and I see it.

My door has inadvertently been locked. You wouldn’t think it’s a big deal because I’ve got a spare set of keys. Only it IS a big deal because my spare keys are precisely where they shouldn’t be: in my car as well.

“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” Literally. I’m in the parking lot yelling at myself. I don’t know what to do, so I go knock on my neighbor’s door. I wake the poor girl up and beg for any help she can offer me. She doesn’t have a phone book for me to call a locksmith, but she suggests I go try to find the maintenance guy. So I jaunt over to the office and I see that the steps are coated in ice too. Ice thicker than what’s on my car. Carefully, I climb the steps. I make it up to the top safely, only to be crushed upon discovering the office doesn’t open til 9. It’s 7:15. I’m making my way down the icy steps and I stumble. I’m losing my balance, I’m sliding. I must have bypassed 4 whole steps, but I land on the ground, on my feet. Only there’s no traction and I’m down. I bang me knee, and I land on my wrist. My wrist is fine (I didn’t see the blood until later…) and I’m feeling okay about my knee (I didn’t start limping til later). Mostly I’m just glad no one was around for that show.

So it’s back to the neighbor’s. She gives me a wire hanger to work with while she tries to find someone to help. It starts raining. 10 minutes later she makes it back with the maintenance guy and a phonebook. He starts working with the wire hanger and I’m off to call my work, and maybe a locksmith. I’m jogging toward my neighbor, who is standing there with her dog, Blue, on a leash. Well Blue apparently does not like people running at his momma because when I get close enough he runs up to me and bites my leg.

I shit you not people. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

My neighbor is super apologetic and luckily, Blue didn’t break the skin or anything. It wasn’t til I got to work that I noticed the huge welt and the mouth shaped bruise now gracing my right calf. A few minutes later, the maintenance guy successfully breaks into my car. I officially leave for work at 7:50 am. I’m only 20 minutes late.

Now let’s make a list of what happened:
1. locked 2 sets of keys in the car
2. fall down set of icy steps
3. get bit by dog

ALL BEFORE 8:00 A.M. What the hell, man.

You know, I wanted to cry several times. I wanted to scream. I wanted to give up and run away. But I didn’t. As a matter of fact, once I had myself in the car and headed to work, I think I laughed for half of my commute. I mean, honestly. The whole situation was absurdly hilarious. And I hope you’re all laughing, too.

It’s an occupational hazard of being independent, I guess. But I learned a good lesson. Yea, I got beat up this morning, but I survived. It all worked out. The world didn’t end. And it wasn’t long before I was laughing about it.

Sigh.

It’s only Tuesday.

And in case you were wondering, I got to eat my breakfast, but my coffee had gotten kinda cold by the time I made it in to the car. Eh well. Oh, and despite all my bruises, I’m totally cool. Just kinda swollen and maybe a little bit sore.

 

rage against the machine February 12, 2008

Filed under: first impressions — Jenny @ 2:40 am

I think it’s best that I hold off from talking about the new job until I’ve given it more of a chance. As of this moment, I can’t exactly gush. But let’s just say, I missed the Fox today.

Bad.

 

evaluation February 7, 2008

Filed under: happiness,spontaneity,uncertainty — Jenny @ 7:11 pm

I’m starting my new job on Monday morning and I’m feeling conflicted. On one hand, this job is what I came to Evansville for, for the most part, and I get to use my degree and speak French. That’s cool. On the other hand, it’s starting to look more and more like a dead end. It’s a 9 to 5 type deal that guarantees to be predictable and to cut the spontaneous bit out of my life.

I’ve started to wonder. Am I the 9 to 5 type? I mean… really? I’ve always loved my jobs I’ve held that were laid back and weren’t heavy on the structure. I’ve started questioning myself. Was I looking for a 9 to 5 because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, and not necessarily what I wanted to do? Because I didn’t know what else to do? Is this really me?

I’m nervous about this new job because I’m not so sure it is. I don’t want to live by what society says I should be doing with my life now. I don’t want to convince myself that there’s anything I have to do, besides making rent. I still don’t know about the rest of my life and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I’ve never been happy doing things because I thought that’s what I was supposed to be doing.

I think the real Jenny is pretty free spirit and the real Jenny is a little nervous that she’s going to be stifled.

 

impressionable me February 5, 2008

Filed under: inspiration,luck — Jenny @ 6:02 am

It’s amazing to me how the company you surround yourself with can influence your mentality. I know that I am my own person and I make my own choices and that I do these things for myself, but I can’t deny that I take a little bit of something from the people I am around, and I think the same is true for most everyone else.

The past almost week or so I have felt happy and healthy. I think part of that is because of the company I’m keeping lately. I don’t want to risk sounding like I’m amoreuse d’elle, so I won’t go much farther than expressing my thankfulness for having met a person so quickly down here that I feel will be a life long friend. Our similarities keep surfacing and our differences seem to balance each other out.

I can’t even express how neat it is to have met someone who is about as “go where the wind blows” as I am. It affirms that I’m not completely mad and that there is no reason to rush to bring my uncertainties certainty. It’s a relief to find another outlet for accepting and embracing the spontaneous. It’s been a long time since I realized the sincere openness of my horizons and actually was excited about it.

Friends really are where it’s at, man.

 

one month in February 4, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Jenny @ 6:40 am

Happy one month anniversary, Evansville.

So far, so good.